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I’m not the smartest.
So I asked my ex if he was willing to try to be with me. to not have a title, but still talk almost everyday. We would still try and see each other as much as we can, even though we are far apart. Obviously I still have feelings for him, and if he agreed to this….I’m going to take a wild guess and say he still has feelings for me. All he wants from me is dirty pictures. pretty much he wants to get off. I’m kinda unnerved by this whole ordeal. I want a real relationship. I don’t want to think that this all has to be perfect. people have long distance relationships that work all the time. Yes its hard and it takes a ton of effort on each side. I feel like this guy is the guy I’m meant to be with my entire life, yet I cant seem to convince him of that. I thought I could do this, but if he isn’t going to try to be with me. Why should I try to be with him? I have been pushing perfectly great men out of my life for this kid. Guys that could have more potential than he does. Yet I don’t really mind because I would give up anything for him. Right there is my problem. Everything is wonderful when we are with each other. We don’t fight, we may not agree on everything, but we don’t bicker, we don’t yell. We are happy to be around each other. And of course I’m the dumb ass telling him I love him when I know he wont say it back. Although he is the one who said it first. I don’t understand him and i’m really truly about done. I’m about to delete his pictures, phone number, ring tone. everything off my phone. delete and block him on facebook. whatever it takes for me to delete my love life since march. I’m probably going to try and have a serious conversation with him tomorrow. I’m not sure that is going to work, but i’ll try. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I want to keep him in my life because he makes me happy, and I love him. BUT he isn’t making anything easy on me.
